unpredictable future

so.. back in singapore for awhile.. been doing nothing but Dotaing and now CnCing.. ps2.. psp.. crap.. totally nv did anything.. nv register to learn car.. nv do anything.. super duper lazy
damn bad, realised, or to say reflected over again, im super duper unindependent. how'm i going to go U w/o my parent helping to pay 1st at least or my brother.. and even so, before that, i realised im lacking money.. n working.. though worked b4 but i nv really work much.. wad to work n will i earn enough to upkeep myself.. ahhh, damn bad..
after tat.. even if i really do well for A's this time n get into U.. after learning game design stuff.. well.. what can i do, not much future for gaming, or try set up a company by myself, its all too complicated, need support from parent again?? or else where to get the funds, n wad if fail.. totally dono where on earth im heading,maybe in the end as a normal worker at a singapore game company with low salary of maybe 1k+ to 2k+?
maybe the path will be easier if i fail A.. i go to japan or taiwan to learn game designing? den juz join the major companies there after faring well? haha, well, but hell no, i must work hard for 'A's.. though i've done nothing yet.
IT MUST ALL START AFTER THIS BOOK IN ON WEDNESDAY!
lets see.. i must use less computer... no clubbing after this week, restrain from overnight activities.. minimum kbox.. maybe sometime go bball, which im too lazy to even go out..
ahhhhhhh, i must start learning to b independent and do some useful stuff instead of doing shit thing! yeah